Previous articles: Dating basics: Respect and So you think you are ready to date?
Effective communication is imperative when you are dating. Some people think screaming is a good way of talking to others, but that is incorrect. If you have been facing communication issues with your partner, practice these tips until they become ingrained in your life. Tip #1 Listen more than you speak. I know this is hard because some of us always have something to say, but try to be more attentive to your boyfriend or girlfriend and that should strengthen yourcommunication. Tip # 2 Speak calmly and respectfully to your mate instead of screaming. Nobody wants to hear all of that noise. And if you keep “yapping, yapping, yapping”, your partner will either respond the same way (yelling) or will tune you out. When you find yourself raising your voice, just bring it back down. You notice how the nastiest person finds a way to maintain calmness at work or once a pastor enters the room? This proves that most of us can actually control ourselves. We just choose to rebel most of the time. Tip #3 Your beau will do something to irritate you. This is inevitable. So when this happens, find the right time to calmly express how you feel about the offense. However, do not attempt to have this conversation when your mate is tired, stressed, viewing the latest Lifetime movie, or getting ready to watch a sports game. Then once the time is right, and you are in the same room, calmly have that discussion. Tip #4 Try to avoid texting your boyfriend or girlfriend about serious issues because your words can be misinterpreted. Then you have to spend days attempting to explain what you really meant. Talk in person in order to prevent any misunderstandings. Tip #5 Use words like “I” or “we” when you are having an important conversation. Instead of saying, “You always act like _____,” say, “I feel like we shouldn't act like____.” Try not to say “you” because the other person will feel like you are in attack mode. Tip #6 Be empathetic but honest when you talk. Apologize if you have messed up. No one likes it when a person tries to pretend he or she did not make a mistake. After your confession, forgive each other and move on, making a promise to disregard those behaviors that have caused the problem in the first place. Tip #7 Watch your body language. Make eye contact as he or she is speaking. Don’t let anything distract you while the conversation is occurring. This means things like the cell phone and television should be off. Your beau deserves your full attention. |
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