Good communication in a marriage builds strong intimacy between husbands and wives.
Our goal each day is to pour love seeds into the hearts of our spouses.
Here are some helpful communication tips that can strengthen the love in your marriage.
1. Create a loving atmosphere where you can both speak openly. No one should be nervous about speaking.
2. Don't cut off your spouse while he or she is speaking. This means you have to give the gift of listening to your spouse, so he or she can feel respected.
3. Encourage your spouse to share what's inside his or her heart, and when he or she verbally expresses those thoughts, be mature enough not to crush your spouse with judgement.
4. Give your spouse the gift of honor by choosing not to attack or shame him or her. Never dump cruel, ungodly words on your spouse because that will dismantle effective communication.
5. Remember, you’re not trying to win. Your goal is always to nurture the marriage.
6. Be sympathetic and empathetic when your spouse is speaking even if you don't agree.
7. The objective in your communication is to make sure everybody is heard and for God's perfect will to be done. Thus, the winner should always be God.
8. Send texts and emails, or leave notes for your spouse that reiterate both partners expectations. Leave notes such as “I can't wait for our getaway this weekend. I really enjoyed our conversation last night about______.”
9. Make eye contact with your spouse as you're both speaking. Such gesture demonstrates respect.
10. Shut off all technology when communicating with your spouse about his or her day, important topics, among other things.
11. Watch your body language as your spouse is speaking. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated, so watch your tone. Don't roll your eyes, exhale heavily, turn up your lips, and such. Be mature and self-controlled.
12. Repeat back to your spouse what he or she expressed to you. Ask questions cordially if you need clarification.
13. Don't hide your feelings. Respectfully share how you feel when the moment is calm. Perfect timing is essential for effective communication.
14. Communicate to your spouse through his or her love language. If your spouse loves to be touched, communicate lovingly through touching.
15. Stay on topic and be specific. Focus on the current issue, not things that happened a year ago.
16. Be humble and accept corrections.
17. Be human, let your guards down, and let things go that won't matter in the future.
18. Pay together. God is the source of your marriage. Ask Him for help. He might just provide you with a Godly counselor or mentor.
19. Read and discuss a book together.
20. Ask each other daily, "How was your day?" Then really listen as your spouse replies.
21. Stand on Colossians 4:6. "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
22. Also remember that you're not trying to win in your communication. You're trying to learn and grow with your spouse, so God can remain the winner in the marriage. God gets glory when you speak to your spouse better than how you speak to your clients, boss, coworkers, etc. We are trained to be professional as entrepreneurs, employees, ministers, and such. Well, we must also learn to be more than professional when communicating with our spouse. Remember, you’re one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
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