10 Ways to Repair Your Marriage

Have you suffered in your marriage? Are you ready for healing so your marriage can be elevated to the next level? 

10 Ways to Repair Your Marriage:

• Write a prayer to God about everything that's troubling your marriage. God is your source and resource; therefore, go boldly to the throne of GRACE, that you may obtain MERCY and find GRACE to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).
• Write a prayer to God confessing all you have done wrong in your marriage. Yes, you. Then ask for forgiveness and repent. 1 John 1:9 states, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
• Forgive yourself and your spouse. Forgiveness doesn't mean you allow yourself to be repeatedly violated. No, forgiveness means to release the person and the hurt from your soul, spirit, and body. Don't use yourself to imprison the damages they (or yourself) have inflicted on you. Do you understand? The Bible explains, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (Matthew 6:14).
• Decide to be a praiser not a razor. Praise your partner. Everybody loves to be complimented. Use those five Love Languages. Sometimes our tongues become like razors, and we use them to cut others. Ask yourself, "Am I a praiser or razor to my spouse?" The Bible tells us that "Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body" (Proverbs 16:24).
• Focus on being mutual. Mutual means having the same feelings one for the other (mutual love, joint, intimacy). This is a powerful medicine for every marriage. Amos 3:3 asks, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"
• Express your concerns wisely. Don't attack your spouse. Instead, express yourself respectfully by saying: I am concerned...I feel uncomfortable when I notice we are not ...I feel afraid. You want to own your feelings and communicate them with dignity. 
• Stop trying to attack your spouse with negative "you" statements like "You always make me feel afraid. You never listen to me." Remember, wise people build up their marriages, not demolish them. "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone" (Colossians 4:5-6).
• You are not married to yourself. Learn to always make decisions as a team (cooperatively). Think of your marriage as the Garden of Eden. You and your spouse desire a healthy, beautiful garden, right? This will require agreement. Certain plants require more sunlight, so you two must communicate so you don't position plants in the wrong spot. Who wants a withered garden? No one. Therefore, work together.
• Remember your marriage covenant. You are to love and honor your spouse forever. Therefore, you can't be in covenant with anyone or anything else. Anything or anyone that brings pain to the marriage must be eradicated immediately and permanently. You're marriage will die if you don't remove adultery and other destructive behaviors (rage, gambling, addiction, deception, etc.). Remember that.
• Spend more time with your spouse doing fun and loving activities. Focus on being a joyous gift to yourself and your spouse. Kiss more. Hug more. Laugh more. Play games more. Dance at home more. Do new things together. Visit new places. Listen to new music. Play new games. Be new in your old marriage. Get it?

There's nothing too hard for God, and I believe God is pouring divine knowledge into us so we and our marriages can be healthy and stronger than ever. 

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